ANOTHER SHOT BEGINS WITH PREDICTIONS

It begins again.

After several months' hiatus -- has it really been a year and a half? -- I'm taking another go at Ivy Walls. It will be reinvented to a degree -- I'm actually going to try to post on a regular basis, and it will be an MLB blog with a Cubs tint to it -- and will hopefully be much funnier and better written. (Thus the deletion of all the posts except the farewell to Maddux, which is poignant, and the Jim Bowden columns, which are truly bizarre.)

And now, on Opening Day for everyone not located in Washington, D.C. or Tokyo, predictions. (And, yes, I'm dumping the Bizarroworld approach from 2006.)

NATIONAL LEAGUE

National League East:
What do you do with the National League East? The Mets have Johan Santana, Pedro Martinez and ... and ... hey, can Johan pitch on two days' rest? The Phillies have Cole Hamels, Brett Myers and Jamie Moyer (whose first start was attended by Abraham Lincoln) as the bulwark of their rotation. And the Braves have a pretty good rotation, while the bullpen ... the bullpen ... well, they can't lose every game, can they?

Then there are the Nationals, whose decision to start Ronnie Belliard should tell you everything you know, and the Marlins, who are a walking argument for contraction.

Prediction: 1. Phillies, 2. Braves (wild card), 3. Mets, 4. Nationals, 5. Marlins

National League Central:
And yet the Central is known as the weakest division in baseball. What's sad is that it might actually be the weakest division in baseball. The Cubs can pitch and hit, but have an uncanny ability to never do both at the same time. The Brewers' season could ride on how well Jeff Suppan can pitch. The Cardinals are, to put it charitably, rebuilding. The Astros are putting together whatever players attract the front office's attention. (Ooooh. Kaz Matsui. Shiny.) And the Pirates are literally trying to avoid tying the MLB record for consecutive winning seasons. On, and Cincinnati has him.

Prediction: 1. Cubs, 2. Brewers, 3. Reds, 4. Astros, 5. Cardinals, 6. Pirates

National League West:
This might be the strongest division in baseball. In fact, the division is likely to have four around-.500 teams and the Giants, who will likely lose in a mind-numbingly boring fashion all season long. The teams will not be around .500 because they are bad, but because they beat each others' brains out. The Diamondbacks picked up Dan Haren, the Rockies got no worse (and maybe better), the Dodgers (who won 82 games last year) got Joe Torre and the Padres are the Padres, meaning they will win at least 82 games. It's actually in the MLB bylaws.

Prediction: 1. Diamondbacks, 2. Dodgers, 3. Padres, 4. Rockies, 5. Giants

First round: CUBS beat Braves; DIAMONDBACKS beat Phillies
Second round: DIAMONDBACKS beat Cubs

AMERICAN LEAGUE

American League East:
Maybe it's just me, but the Yankees seem old. I almost expect them to announce that John McCain will be batting cleanup. In the meantime, the Red Sox didn't even have to do much reloading, the Blue Jays won 83 games last year and only improved, the Rays will at least win most of their games against the Yankees, and the Orioles will continue to see how much they can extract from Jim Hendry for Brian Roberts. (Okay. I'll throw in my first-born son. Is that enough?)

Prediction: 1. Red Sox, 2. Blue Jays, 3. Yankees, 4. Rays, 5. Orioles

American League Central:
If the NL West isn't the toughest division in baseball, this is. The Tigers have a lineup that scares small children, the Indians have a bunch of oddly-named but solid players, the Twins are the Twins and the White Sox are always a threat as long as their manager is a raving lunatic who might pummel your No. 1 starter. Then there are the Royals, who are improving for the 12th straight year.

Prediction: 1. Tigers, 2. Indians (wild card), 3. Twins, 4. White Sox, 5. Royals

American League West:
The Angels looked good until their rotation began to resemble a Quentin Tarantino movie and their outfielders began to regard shallow fly balls as scientific phenomena to be observed but undisturbed. The Mariners would have won the NL Central last year -- before Erik Bedard. The As make the Cardinals look like they're trying to win right now, while the Rangers will continue to be known as "that team that used to have Nolan Ryan in the twilight of his career."

Prediction: 1. Mariners, 2. Angels, 3. Rangers, 4. As

First round: RED SOX beat Indians; TIGERS beat Mariners
Second round: RED SOX beat Tigers

WORLD SERIES: RED SOX beat Diamondbacks